Do you still remember the very first kiss you planted on the lips of your woman? – The woman you truly love?What about before the first kiss, the difficulty you experienced in expressing your desire to be intimate with her?
Do you still remember that burning feeling you had, and how unhappy you are when you don’t see her for a long time?
What about the first time you FINALLY made love to her on your wedding day, the impatience to consummate your marriage that wedding night?
If you have been married for over a year, no doubt, those feelings may have started giving way.
For many Nigerian men who have married for several years, those beautiful memories may have faded away completely. But if your marriage still makes you happy, these are some of the most memorable events during your courtship and union.For some other group of men, who suddenly discovers the true identity of their wives, they may be wondering why they got themselves married to this individual in the first place.Many marriages today are having problems or simply growing stale because the initial love that was once enjoyed is no longer alive. This is because many couples are not making serious efforts to ignite the sparks of love in their marriages.
The truth is, there are still happy marriages today who have lasted beyond 25 years. If you ask these older couple the reason why they are still happily married you will be surprised that these successful marriages all have few things in common.
Things like the following factors are common denominators.
Love
Respect
Communication
Understanding
Tolerance
The above factors are deliberate actions taken by the couples to ensure a successful marriage.
There’s one thing that many troubled marriages are ignoring. They forget that successful or happy marriages do not happen by accident, they are deliberately planned.
If you are having problems keeping the love in your marriage alive, know that you are not alone. In fact there are hundreds of thousands of homes in Nigeria battling the same problem.
The good news is that you can still enjoy a lasting and very successful marriage if you make the effort.
Do you remember the questions I asked when I started this article?
Those questions bring to mind those things men do when they are still interested in a woman.
If you want the love in your marriage to keep burning, then you must device ways to bring back the youthful activities boyfriends do to their girlfriends before marriage.
What are those things? Well we are all men, we know them. But as a reminder here they are:
Spending Time Together
Do you remember when you were dating, that one of the most important things to you as a man when it comes to your woman was spending time with her. No matter how busy you are, you still “create” time to make appointments for a date. Remember how spending 2 hours with her was just like 10 minutes?
In your present marriage, how often do you take your wife out to a nice restaurant, or a good hotel outside the home to sleep? Do you still hold hands in public while walking together?
Woo Your Wife
There are many things women do not communicate to their husbands, that they need to feel loved. One of them is touching. You need to constantly give your wife a warm embrace, hug and kisses even after the 4th or 10th child. Touch your wife tenderly every day.
This reminds them that you still love them. Women love intimacy just as they love lovemaking. A woman is more receptive to your sexual advances if you regularly show affection to her in the way of embrace, holding hands etc.
Do no let your business or job interfere with your marriage. While at work, find 2 minutes to send your wife romantic text messages.
Surprise Your Wife With Gifts
When buying gifts for your wife, make sure it is something she loves. By gift, I do not mean only physical items like shoes, bags and jewelries, these are also important if you can afford them. I mean buying edibles like “Suya”, roasted chicken, apples, chocolates, ice-creams, wine, snacks.
Get these things when you are coming home from work. Women and children love it. In fact, these actions keep your wife expecting you everyday and makes you a loving husband.
Play Games together
What activity does your wife love? If she is the type that loves playing the Ludo game, chess, or just football, indulge her and play the game together. Go out more often to see friends together. Take a walk in the evenings or weekends with your wife.
Give Your Wife a Satisfying Sex
One mistake that Nigerian men make is going to their wife only when they need sex. This on its own doesn’t help a marriage to bond. If you do the above very well, the chances of your wife saying no to you even when she is tired is reduced highly.
One thing that can make a woman to continue to love and enjoy her marriage is her husband’s ability to satisfy her and bring her to a glowing orgasm each time they make love
Let Your Wife Be Your Best Friend
If there is any unsafe place in the world, your marriage should be the only place you can get comfort in troubled times. When you make your wife your best friend, you consider her decisions in every major decisions you make in your life.Discuss your finances, business growth, activities in the office, the girls you admire and even the temptations you faced in the office. Sometimes, a woman’s input in her husbands affairs turns out to be the best advice the man can get. I have seen this happen many times in my own marriage.
This doesn’t mean the wife makes decisions for you, the wife suggests, and it is your responsibility to take it or not and when you are not taking the advice from your wife, let her know your reasons.
Let God Be In Your Marriage.I believe that religion also has a role to play in marriage. If you as the husband marries a God Fearing woman, this will help all the effort you put in making a successful marriage.
This will mean praying together, going to place of worship together and discussing how the lessons learned in the church or Mosque help in keeping your marriage.
Don’t forget that marriage is what you make of it. A happy marriage doesn’t happen automatically. But if you work at it and put in sufficient effort, you will be blessed with the results.
Then, the fairy tale stories that usually ends with the slogan: “And they Lived Happily Ever After” can then be applied to your marriage for as long as you live.
I wish you all success in your marriages and relationships.
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